Monday, January 31, 2005
I was crossing Market Street when I heard someone call out my name. It took a while to register; first I thought it was just some random person calling out to another Michael. But I took a chance, and I stopped, turned and had a look.
Of course, I'm blind as a bat without my specs - frankly, I'm too stubborn and shallow to wear them and the only frames that I'd ever want to be seen in are my Oakley's.
So anyway, a tall and slim sort of figure comes toward me. "Mister Moocow", he says. Only one person calls me that (and not the last considering my future career choice): one of my old teachers, Mr L. He was carrying one of those huge x-ray envelopes - his ticket out of the first day back at school I'd imagine. It was good seeing him again. Out of all the teachers, I seem to bump into him the most. He lives in the city, somewhere on Pitt Street, but don't ask me how he can afford it on a teacher's salary.
There's a general feeling that Mr L is gay. Since I became aware of who and what I am, I've got to say that I see it more and more, myself. He never actually taught me in a class which is why I guess we became good friends. He was just another person at school to me, instead of some authority figure, and we got along pretty well.
Sometimes I think that his gaydar must've picked something up on me back at school. Even now, I'm not all that outwardly gay - all I have to show for it is a rainbow patch on my Quiksilver backpack; if you didn't know any better, you'd think I was just one of those surfer/skater wannabes (well, I am but that's beside the point). But I think he knows what my deal is. Once, sometime in year twelve, I was out with my then-boyfriend Chris and we bumped into Mr L at Pitt Street Mall. He must've picked something up by then.
He's a nice bloke. Mr L's got to have been one of the people that inspired me to become a teacher.
So in between short stints buried under books at Fisher (still trying to finish all of this quantum-theory/chemistry work), I went up to the city to satiate my hunger for my latest culinary obsession. First there was the Devil's Chocolate Thickshake at Copenhagen Ice Cream in Broadway Shopping Centre, and then there was shoestring chips from McDonald's. Now my new addiction is with Hungry Jack's Cheeseburgers. They're small, they look cute and they're cheap!
I'm so glad that I don't get fat. I suppose I'm living on borrowed time though. Ah well, I'll enjoy eating whatver I want while I still can!
I'm distracted so easily. In between book-pages (or words even), I'd look up, look around and look out the window. And I had my camera handy too.

The University of Technology, Sydney's (UTS) Tower as seen from a window, Level 8, Fisher Stack at the University of Sydney. And to think, there could've been two of these hideous monstrosities.
Listening to:
Title: Truth
Artist: George
Album/station: Polyserena (2002)
Length: 3.45
Sunday, January 30, 2005
It could be that I'm just succumbing to the corporate consumerist machine. But I had this feeling that it was wrong, maybe even immoral owning an illegitimate copy* of Jeff Buckley's Grace. Down right sacrelige. So I scraped together several dollars and I finally purchased myself the genuine article.
It was Dave's list of the 30 best songs ever written on A Fulmination of Thought that sent me off on this little tangent and since then, Grace - first the bastard copy, and now the legit one - hasn't left my CD player (yes, I still own one of those). Jeff Buckley's voice is indeed absolutely amazing. And it's a crime against music and popular culture that he died when he did.
Last Goodbye, Lilac Wine and his cover of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah are just beautiful. This album is timeless, and it still sounds great eleven years on after its initial release in 1994.
*Not an admission of guilt. After all, I came good in the end. So ARIA can go stick that in their pipes and smoke it.
Listening to:
Title: Lover, You Should've Come Over
Artist: Jeff Buckley
Album/station: Grace (1994)
Length: 6.43
Saturday, January 29, 2005
I went to uni on Thursday. To the libraries, in particular - Physics and Fisher. All I wanted was an Idiot's Guide To Quantum Theory. Or Quantum Theory for Dummies. Just something that could explain things simply and easily, in general detail, before I can concern myself with the finer points. I just want to know what Schrödinger's Equation means. I mean, sure they covered it in the PHYS1003 course but it was totally lost on me. I asked the lecturer last semester what it all meant and all I could get out of him was: "it doesn't represent any physical property, it's just used to describe an electron".
Anyway, Quantum Theory is popping up in the chemistry Supplementary Course that I have to hand in by Februay 18. So I thought that it'd be a good time to get my head around it all.
But get this: there aren't any -For Dummies or Idiot's Guides on anything remotely related to physics at the University of Sydney's libraries. I know that they do exist. They do, however, have Yoga For Dummies, Men's Health For Dummies, and an Idiot's Guide To Managing Stress but what use is that to me?
Seeing as Darren lives around the corner from USyd, I thought that drop in and say hello on the way home. It'd been a week since I'd seen him last and I wanted to see if he was okay - he'd been a bit distant and I was a little bit worried for him.
We ended up seeing Ray at Broadway Hoyts (which seemed to drag on a bit but rush through at the same time). The movie ended late so I missed the last train home for the night and the next NightRide bus was ages away. I ended up sleeping over at Darren's place. Ordinarily I would've jumped at the chance. I mean, not that I didn't want to this time around. I don't know. At the risk of slipping into the cliché psychobabble-relationship-speak, let me just say that over the last few days, I'd gotten the feeling that he wanted me to back off.
But apparently, he had an urge to escape life/stress too like I did, somewhat - that's the impression I got. He'd been up in the Hunter Valley for a while, chilling out I imagine. We didn't talk much about it though so I guess I don't know the whole story. Of course I'm curious about it, but I don't feel like I absolutely need to know. Whatever he wants to fill me in on, I'm okay with.
Anyway, when we got back to his place, we just cuddled for a bit and fell asleep. So I guess everything's alright with us now. The next morning, I woke up to him tickling me and we spent most of the early sunlit hours wrestling. Innocent, boyish, playful wrestling that is. He seemed happy. I was glad about that.
While we're on the subject of sleeping, I swear that Darren mutters or talks in his sleep. Nearly all my boyfriends in the past have/do; or maybe it's just me. And Darren does it quite loudly too, as in normal conversational voice. I've been told that I talk in my sleep - I hope I haven't revealed anything incriminating...
I'm seeing The Shins next month, care of my cousin Mark! A big thank you goes out to him.

One last thing, I saw Closer with Mattymoo earlier tonight and he smelled like I remember Dave used to.
Listening to:
Title: Need You Tonight
Artist: Mylo
Album/station: Ministry of Sound: Chillout Sessions 6 (2004)
Length: 4.42
Friday, January 28, 2005

EDIT: Why do I get the feeling that maybe there's something sinister behind the whole door handle thing?

Listening to:
Title: Nightswimming
Artist: R.E.M.
Album/station: Automatic For The People (1996)
Length: 4.17
Scrap that trip up the coast. I haven't got much money to play around with, seeing as the Melbourne trip is coming up soon. I don't have a car either and I'm at my wits end with Busways Central Coast.
Listening to:
Title:
Artist:
Album/station:
Length:
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
I've decided that next week, I'm taking a few days off. "A few days off of what, you unemployed freeloading uni student", I hear you ask. "Aren't you already on holidays? What is this, so now you're taking a holiday from your holidays? Fuck, now I've heard it all..."
Well, I'm just taking a few days off from stuff, you know? A few days off from Mikey. I'll grab my tent, some food and water, my boardies, a towel, maybe some physics texts and my discman (yeah I know, I'm so technologically behind), and I'll head up the coast to an as yet undisclosed location. I'm going bush. I'm going beach. I'm going on my own.
Listening to:
Title: You Gotta Love This City
Artist: The Whitlams
Album/station: Love This City (1999)
Length: 5.11
How they played out:
1. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me OutThe rest of the list...
2. Missy Higgins - Scar
3. Eskimo Joe - From The Sea
4. The Killers - Somebody Told Me
5. Spiderbait - Black Betty
6. Missy Higgins - Ten Days
7. John Butler Trio - Something's Gotta Give
8. Little Birdy - Beautiful to Me
9. Powderfinger - Bless My Soul
10. The White Stripes - Jolene (live)
11. Modest Mouse - Float On
12. The Dresden Dolls - Coin-Operated Boy
13. The Killers - Mr Brightside
14. Evermore - It's Too Late
15. Ben Lee - Gamble Everything For Love
16. Grinspoon - Hard Act To Follow
17. Butterfingers - Yo Mama
18. The Streets - Fit But You Know It
19. The Streets - Dry Your Eyes
20. Spiderbait - F***kin Awesome
So today marks 217 years since Captain Arthur Phillip RN founded the settlement of Sydney and the colony of New South Wales. Some consider this day as the birth of the nation of Australia, others see it as the day of invasion. Regardless, kick your feet up, have a beer and eat some lamb.
Triple J's annual Hottest 100 takes over the airwaves today too, charting the hottest hundred songs of the past year. The hot favourite for number one is Franz Ferdinand's Take Me Out. We'll see.
A few years back (back in the day), when Mel Bampton and Charlie Pickering used to host Triple J's afternoon drive show, they also charted the hottest 100 things about summer:
Mel and Charlie's Hottest 100 things about summer
100 - Open and accepted slagging of your fellow man all in the name of cricket.
99 - The development of the beach yogi.
98 - The development of the thong callous and the thong tan.
97 - Getting to burn your brother or sister with the belt buckles in the car.
96 - Losing your virginity and counting down the next 3 weeks til you get to go back to school and tell all your friends.
95 - The feeling of sweat running down your bum crack.
94 - Riding your bmx in nothing but your budgie smugglers despite all the injuries you sustained last summer.
93 - Judging the various shades of british backpackers that have passed out on the beach.
92 - Watching a barefoot idiot doing the lizard run across the roasting bitumen.
91 - Sound of Greensleeves.
90 - Mango juice dripping off your elbows.
89 - Laughing at the kids who's mums have clearly picked out their beach attire and never got over their love of fluoro from the eighties.
88 - Fill-in newsreaders.
87 - The suspense that comes with discovering which Neighbours personality will be trying their hand at singing this year.
86 - Inventing a new language for dealing with the hot car based on the phrase 'hoochee hochee wowow'
85 - Laying in a river drinking beer.
84 - Performing the first pubic backburn after winter hibernation.
83 - Watching your siblings burn their arses on the local slippery slide.
82 - Hammock.
81 - Writing 'I suck dead dogs balls' in sunscreen on your mates back.
80 - Opening all the windows and doors to cop the cool change.
79 - Classic re-runs such as Brady Bunch, Golden Girls and Head of the class.
78 - Waiting for the neighbours to go out so you can jump the fence and into their pool.
77 - Funniest home videos.
76 - Looking for a job everyday at Centrelink because they have air conditioning.
75 - 32 hours straight playing the video game you got for Christmas.
74 - Harry’s Practice on five nights a week.
73 - Buying $300 worth of cd’s using nothing but vouchers.
72 - Filling the little kiddies pool with ice beer and bodies.
71 - Out on the patio we sit, and the humidity we breath, we watch the lightening crack over cane fields.
70 - French cricket.
69 - Breaking out in hives from eating your body weight in prawns.
68 - Getting a Christmas beetle stuck in your hair.
67 - Pool fingering.
66 - Perving.
65 - Putting ice in the bong.
64 - Eating sandy fish and chips.
63 - The smell of a freshly mowed backyard lawn combined with a diced piece of dog shit sweating in the sun that someone was too bloody lazy to dodge.
62 - Dads who continue to wear the holey scrap of material, which was once a pair of stubbies insisting that the holes provide air-conditioning.
61 - Wearing bum grooves into your new banana lounge.
60 - Watching your mate get stuck barefoot in the middle of a Bindi infested paddock.
59 - Going for a drink from the garden hose and burning your face off.
58 - Hanging your feet out the car window and losing your thongs.
57 - Summer sunsets.
56 - the injuries sustained by poor placement of the slip and slide.
55 - Laying in a pool of sweat when you go to bed at night and waking up 4 hours laying freezing your bits off.
54 - The nauseating aroma of mozzie coil.
53 - Getting out of the shower and laying in front of the fan.
52 - No watch...EVER
51 - Classic catches in the pool.
50 - Ham sandwiches ‘til march.
49 - Frangipanis.
48 - Cruising in your car in the blistering heat, windows down, Triple J playing cruisy tunes, no deadlines or anywhere to be.
47 - Ice magic.
46 - Getting a ‘secret sandcastle’ in the crotch of your swimmers.
45 - Dreaming of cockjocks, dick pointers and slug huggers waking to find out they have been replaced by boardshorts.
44 - Sock tan.
43 - Cane toad cricket/golf.
42 - Freeze brain from eating your icy pole to fast.
41 - Telling tourists at Taronga zoo not to get too close to the koalas as they are highly flammable in summer due to all the eucalyptus oil.
40 - Hugging or horse slapping someone with really bad sunburn
39 - Having all the electronic items such as computers overheat so you dont have to work and can just laze away the working hours.
38 - Freeballin'
37 - Spitting watermelon seeds at your siblings/mates.
36 - The Cherry Spew ingredients..2 litres of beer & red wine
something to smoke (optional)
1.5 kg cherrys
hey presto
Cherry spew
35 - Sunshowers
34 - The sunny tan
33 - Yelling at the cicada’s out your bedroom window to keep it down, only to realise that they have attitude and get louder.
32 - Cyclone swells and surfing the 8ft shorebreak ( with stolen mcdonalds trays as body boards)
31 - Leatherback spotting.
30 - Steam off the bitumen after rain.
29 - While swimming at a beach miles from anywhere you strategically burying your car keys in sand with a thong to mark the spot in order to keep them safe. You then realise when you have packed up and gotten back to your car that your keys are buried somewhere on the beach!!
28 - Marco Polo.
27 - 2 games, shoe hire, hot dog, fries and a drink.
26 - Met a boy cute as can be, met a girl crazy for me summer days drifting away but ah those summer nights ah well ah well ah ooh!.
25 - Southerly busters after the scorching westerlies.
24 - The unashamed display of hairy backs.
23 - Grasshopper stomping.
22 -
21 - Thinking you’ve been bitten on the foot whilst at the beach, then realising it’s the durry you tried unsuccessfully to put out in the sand.
20 - Searching through the fm radio bandwidth once at your summer holiday destination, in search for the local Triple J frequency!
19 - Bubble-O-Bill.
18 - Watching the neighbour mow his lawn in the middle of the day with a steamer on and overalls over the top, cause he thinks he will loose weight.
17 - Beergardens.
16 - Nectarines, peaches, plums and apricots.
15 - Voting in Triple J Hottest 100.
14 - Organising your triple j hottest 100 party.
13 - The illegal gambling that takes place at your hottest 100 party on who will be no 1.
12 - The illegal gambling that takes place at your hottest 100 party on who will be first to vomy.
11 - Collecting your wins on either of the aforementioned gambles.
10 - Waking up on a sunny day and deciding to have a barbie that afternoon
9 - Ringing your mates to invite them over for the barbie and they’re all up for it.
8 - Successfully constructing the barbie out of bricks and an oven rack.
7 - Arguing with your mates about a) who can build the best fire and b) is it possible to have too much beer batter and c) shall we put some chops on for the girls?
6 - 4 hours later taking the first bite of overcooked carcass seasoned with the summer flavours of charcoal and sunscreen.
5 - Getting sunburnt, then dropping the skin from your peeling nose into the burgers your forced to cook at your local family restaurant.
4 - Golden gaytimes.
3 - Recreating 'It’s a Knockout' in the pool.
2 - Being 14 and perving at your 17 yr old sister’s mates
1 - Scoring at pash whilst watching the final act at the Big Day Out.
Listening to:
Title: This Song Is A Love Song
Artist: Little Birdy
Album/station: Hottest 100 on Triple J 105.7FM
Length: --
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
I tagged along to Mattymoo's enrolment day at the University of Technology Sydney's Kuring-gai campus (in Sydney's north) today, which was actually pretty fun. He gave me the grand tour and I've got to say, I had the place all wrong. It's really quite pleasant (it reminded me a little bit of Auckland International Airport, although not as big and lacking in duty-free shops); the notion I'd had of the place beforehand was of a boring little building in the middle of nowhere.
Matt took me to a spot commonly frequented by smokers, a large outside balcony with benches and shade umbrellas. It had a great view over the Blue Gum Creek valley in the Lane Cove National Park. So we sat there, enjoying each other's company and listening to some music for a while. For that short hour, I took on the role as DJ Mikey, fiddling around with his mp3 player.
We felt so old, though. Matt and I, of course, are old hands at this. I'm going into my second year, and Matt's just transferred from a B.Ed to a Bachelor of Business, starting from the very beginning again. Everyone else enrolling today were recent school leavers - naive and wide-eyed I imagine, experiencing the wonderful new world of university for the first time. Okay, well maybe not like that, but fresh meat nonetheless.
Speaking of fresh meat, we kept running into/walking past this rather cute crumpet, a uni-newbie, whom the two of us referred to as White-Polo-Lauren-shirt-boy. Lé gaydar perked up almost immediately. Matt wanted me to squeeze a phone number out of him, but I didn't get around to it. White-Polo-Lauren-shirt-boy didn't sound like Matt's type, anyway - a little unintentional eavesdropping revealed that he regularly appeared in stage musicals. Not that it's a bad thing, I happen to like some stage musicals (how stereotypically gay!) but I don't think that it's Matt's thing.
Maybe, just maybe, if White-Polo-Lauren-shirt-boy was a member of the band Linkin Park - that'd be Matt's thing. How stereotypically not gay. Aww, bless'im. Not that there'd ever be a rockboy as pretty as this one anyway.
Also, now I've got a photo of Mattymoo in my wallet. Well, in the form of his old UTS student card anyway.
Listening to:
Title: The Celibate Life
Artist: The Shins
Album/station: Oh, Inverted World (2001)
Length: 1.50
The last ferry of a night leaves Manly Wharf for Circular Quay at 12.20am. It's not a particularly good trip when the sea is choppy in the middle of July (the Australian winter). It's a different story in summer of course.

It's been a long time since I last made that journey. In my vain attempt to escape my life and what it had become (short of killing myself - 'cause that just ain't cricket), the sanctuary, I'd decided, was the beach. And the most easily accessible beach from my corner of suburbia was Manly, just a pleasant ferry trip down the harbour.

So I'd get there just as the sun was going down, buy something to eat if I was hungry and sit down either on the beach or somewhere close by. Then there was time for quiet reflection, inhaling the salty air deep into the lungs, feeling the grass and sand under foot and between the toes. Sometimes I'd wish that I could exist in a world consisting entirely of perpetual dusk and eastward facing beaches.
Of course, I'd never stayed long enough to watch the sunrise which I assume would be amazing. The first ferry of the morning departs at 6.40am on weekdays, 8.45am weekends and I'm not sure of what I'd do in the meantime.
Suddenly I've got the urge to make that trip again.
Listening to:
Title: At The River
Artist: Groove Armada
Album/station: Ministry of Sound: The Chillout Session vol.2 (2001)
Length: 3.59
Monday, January 24, 2005
Agent FareEvader suggests a good way to relieve stress:
"Grab an apple. Grab yourself ... and head for the busiest business district closest to you. Go in the evening peak on a friday when people are buzzing around like crazy. Take one apple, eat slowly, walk, admire everything you see around you. Reflect."I think I'll give that a go.
Listening to:
Title: I'm The Bomb
Artist: Electric Six
Album/station: Fire (2003)
Length: 4.18
Sunday, January 23, 2005
So there I was, fretting and being all overly self concious. And then Mattymoo says this to me:
"I won't start being all sweet, but you know I love you the way you are. I wouldn't order my Mikey to be served any other way."See, that's why he's one of my bestest buds.
Listening to:
Title: Call Me
Artist: The Dandy Warhols
Album/station: Come On Feel The Dandy Warhols
Length: 3.31
It's the same old story, really - repeated ad nauseum on soaps and TV dramas the world over. There comes a time, when you're seeing someone, that you start to worry - you know, because you care; and I do care. Suddenly he/she starts responding to you monosyllabically. Suddenly he/she doesn't seem to want to say much or tell you anything (I mean, not that they have to say anything at all, just because you're seeing each other).
It's not so much paranoia or anything, it's more of a concern for the other one; although when you haven't been filled in, conspiratorial kinds of thoughts do occur to one's self. But the questions remain. Can I do anything to help? Or is it me? Am I the problem?
Maybe I should just stick my nose elsewhere for a while. Maybe I'm making too much of the situation. You know; mountains, mole hills, et cetera.
Listening to:
Title: Dancing Dirt Into The Snow
Artist: Missy Higgins
Album/station: Scar EP
Length: 3.25
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Would it be too silly to do a few things the old fashioned way? I like the way things used to be. Just a little.
I like getting mail and posting it. I like having music on physical media. I like 35mm SLR cameras. I like to whistle while I walk. I like to make phone calls from public phones. I like Post-its.
Gosh I sound so old.
Listening to:
Title: Don't Need You (Den Hentrix & Cash'mir House Mix)
Artist: Sweet Coffee
Album/station: Ministry of Sound: Chillout Sessions 6
Length: 4.03
So I'm a little bummed out at the moment. After Adam's birthday dinner/drinks at The Eastwood, Lauren and I were going to go clubbing but we spent a long time - too long - piss-farting around and somehow we got ourselves both broke, tired and slightly drunk. I managed to get Darren on the phone though, hoping for a late night bootycall but that didn't happen either. God forbid that he'd be out with his mates, too. Shock. Horror.
I can't wait until I see him again. He's a sweetums and he knows how to hold me right. On a slightly related matter, Mattymoo and I are having a Seinfeld-esque bet thing going, banning all forms of self-gratification for a few weeks. Somehow though, he managed to wig his way out of it... but the terms are still binding - on me. And I'm getting the itch.
It's just as well that I didn't end up seeing Darren, though; I'm having a bit of a Bridget Jones situation with bad looking underwear - embarrassing tartan cotton boxers.
I also played pool with James the spunky straight school mate (ha, that rhymes!) in the course of the evening and just quietly, if I didn't have any self control (which thankfully, I do), I probably would have taken him then and there on the pool table. Or at least made a damn good attempt to seduce him. In my fantasies though, he's open to a little experimentation - I mean, he has been in the past...
Not that I'd be thinking of being with anyone else but Darren, of course.
So yes, I'm bored and horny. It's not at all a pleasant combination.
And where's Mattymoo when you need him? I could go a Mattymoo hug right about now, too. I feel like I've been neglecting him. He is my bestest queer buddy after all, but I haven't been spending as much time with him as I probably should.
Anyway, he managed to transfer from Primary Education to some Business degree at UTS Ku-ring-gai so I'm going to tag along and keep him company at enrolment next week. That should make up for part of it.
I also realise that I talk/write a lot but I often don't have much to say.
Listening to:
Title: You're Free
Artist: Yomanda
Album/station: Remix Heaven Vol. 2
Length: 3.08
Friday, January 21, 2005

Those whacked out American Christian conservatives are it again, this time they have SpongeBob in their sights. They're alleging that our innocent, wide-eyed, square-panted friend is being exploited in a pro-homosexual educational video being distributed to schools all over America to promote tolerance of sexual identity and acceptance of homosexuality - which is apparently is just a euphemism for mass conversion of the good heterosexual folk of the God-blessed United States to the evil ways of fagdom. Oh yeah. God forbid, a kiddie cartoon character getting chummy with us devil worshipping butt-fuckers.
Ridiculous.
Articles:
Gay warning on Spongebob, The Age, January 21 2005.
Happy little SpongeBob too gay for US conservatives, Sydney Morning Herald, January 21 2005.
Listening to:
Title: Traffic In The Sky
Artist: Jack Johnson
Album/station: On and On
Length: 2.50
Thursday, January 20, 2005
I've spoken to a few boys that I've-- well-- formerly been involved with, lately. I don't really know why, it all seems out of the blue. Maybe it's that time of the year or something, I don't know. Some I haven't seen for a long, long time. It just makes me think, you know? Remembering what it was like to be a naive, fresh faced queer in a predominantly straight suburban world - not even old enough to experience the scene. Oh, the nostalgia.
Dave.
Flyboy Dave got rid of his car; apparently now he's got a motorbike. He pranged the Commodore (I think it was a Commodore, if memory serves me - nonetheless, it was a beast) and couldn't be stuffed getting a new one. Oh the memories of that car: being tailgated on Richmond Road and Dave stomping on the brakes, skidding the tyres and giving Mr Tailgater the shits.
Dave was a guy I saw a couple of times after I finished the HSC, way back in 2003. He wasn't the type of guy I normally would have been involved with, but I'd just finished with school and I had all this untested freedom at my disposal. So I met Dave; I was seventeen, he was twenty-three and an aircraftman with the RAAF. He was a pretty sweet boy; spunky and nicely built too. I'm not sure what I liked most about him: maybe the way he'd effortlessly lift me and lay me down, or that adorable look he'd give me while he was driving and I was in the passenger seat - but then again that could've just been an 'I-need-to-get-my-rocks-off' kind of look, I can never be too sure.
He was different to everyone else I'd been with up until then. I guess the major difference was that he was older. He was a gentleman, as opposed to a fickle, drama-queen teenager, and a blokey kind of bloke. He seemed a bit aloof at times though - a bit mysterious. I wish we talked more.
He took me to his place on the Airbase at Richmond once - I think I've still got the visitors pass somewhere. He'd been bumming around for a few days; he didn't have a plane to work on - his 707 (his 'seven-oh', as he referred to it) was out somewhere and wouldn't be back on the Base for a few days. Instead, an army Blackhawk helicopter was in his hangar and he told me that he'd scabbed a rollercoaster kind of ride on it to Holsworthy and back during a defence family Open Day a few days earlier.
I remember his water bed. That was-- difficult to say the least. It was all squishy and it was tough to get any sort of solid footing on it. But it was fun. Took a lot of effort though.
And he took me to the drive-in movies too - I really enjoyed that. We got there a little early and there was a bit of a storm brewing - not quite the best weather to see a movie outside. In the mean time, we entertained ourselves. Outside, the raindrops pitterpattered on the metal roof, the thunder rumbled and the lightning flashed. We were there in the backseat, skin on bare skin, fogging up the windows. And I fitted snugly, dare I say perfectly, in his big strong arms. Sometimes I wish that we meant more to each other; the moment was really quite romantic and it seemed wasted on us. Sigh.
I saw him again last Anzac Day. I was with my best friend Adam near the KFC on the corner of George and Bathurst Streets in the City; Adam had his pipe band gear on - a kilt and a huge bass drum, and we waited for the massed pipe-band to form and march up George Street to the Martin Place Cenotaph. Dave and his Air Force buddies walked past (on their way to the RSL, I later learnt), resplendent in their light blue dress uniforms. He looked positively sexy. But I didn't talk to him; I didn't know what to say. Or if he'd want me to say 'hello' at all, especially with those burly military type friends of his around.
More boy-related reminiscing later...
Listening to:
Title: Everything's Alright (Reprise)/I Don't Know How To Love Him
Artist: Kate Ceberano
Album/station: Jesus Christ Superstar [Australian Cast Recording]
Length: 4.23
I'm also in love with Red Rooster's pineapple fritters.
Listening to:
Title: Make Luv
Artist: Oliver Cheatham and Room 5
Album/station: Ministry of Sound: The 2004 Annual
Length: 2.57
I think I'm officially smitten. Darren's such an adorable little thing.
I went over to his place again last night. He made us dinner and we lay on his bed watching a few DVDs together. Of course, having two virile gay boys in a bed together with lights off led to things becoming- well- messy, and the highlight of the night would have to have been sneaking naked together across the hallway to the shower without arousing any suspicion from his flatmates.
He fell asleep in the middle of Fierce Creatures. We slept in this morning. I didn't want to leave.
We've been seeing each other for over a month now. But being the male that I am, I'm not all that sure how long exactly.
Listening to:
Title: Your Pseudo Lesbian Girl (a song dedicated to Ms Fits)
Artist: Jess @ ausculture.com
Album/station: Get This Up Ya, Fitsface xx
Length: 1.03
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
At 11am AEST today, Triple J turned 30. Amongst everything that Gough Whitlam's Labor Government (1972-75) gave us, Triple J (formerly 2JJ) still stands strong. And despite funding cuts to the ABC, the Jays don't look like being eroded by the current Howard Government much like those other Whitlam initiatives have, namely Medicare/Medibank, freely accessible tertiary education and indigenous affairs.

Here's to 30 more years of a culturally, musically and politically progressive youth radio station that is focused on more than just chasing the almighty dollar, vain commercialism and regurgitating safe, shallow, monotonous content.
Listening to:
Title: Mine's Not A High Horse
Artist: The Shins
Album/station: Chutes Too Narrow
Length: 3.20
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Good on Darp Hau for his bit on Triple J's current affairs program Hack earlier this evening. I listened in - did you?
Listening to:
Title: How Soon Is Now?
Artist: The Smiths
Album/station: The Very Best Of The Smiths
Length: 6.46
MikeyCorp posts deficit for fourth successive week
January 17, 2005
MikeyNation correspondent Mack Moo Cow reports:
The CEO of MikeyCorp, the statutory corporation whose portfolio includes the Treasury of MikeyNation, has announced the fourth budget deficit in as many weeks.
Higher than normal spending coupled with lower revenues over the previous weeks were the causes which attributed to a looming fiscal crisis, the CEO said today.
Foreign investment over the Christmas period funded the recent consecutive budget overruns and helped to cushion the impact of the economic downturn but the fresh capital is rapidly running dry.
According to official papers published today by Treasury, funds in government coffers now amount to A$2.90. Foreign debt currently stands at A$10 but is set to rise due to several large and small financial commitments - namely the Melbourne Travel Initiative and the Birthday commemorations in neighbouring Adamland.
The crisis is far from being resolved and is set to become worse, with new data from the Bureau of Statistics declaring that unemployment is at a record 100%.
Fortunately, health expenditure has been low due to the reasonably good health of MikeyNationals, and so has spending on education, which can be credited to university holidays. However more funding has been allocated to telecommunications, public transport and the arts, namely the fashion, film and music industries.
In a statement released today, the General Secretary of MikeyNation announced a proposal for a subsidy scheme with the Bank of Mum, not dissimilar to the "Left Shoe/Right Shoe" policy of previous eras, for the acquisition of the important commodity of food which has in recent times has experienced an increase in spending.
In other news, negotiations continue on the Free Hug Agreement with the Darren Development Bank.
©2005 Mikey Associated Press Ltd (MAPL)
And oh how embarrassing:-
Listening to:
Title: One For Sorrow (Tony Moran 7" Mix)
Artist: Steps
Album/station: Steptacular
Length: 3.30
Monday, January 17, 2005
In case you don't know, Triple J frequencies (capital cities): Sydney 105.7FM | Melbourne 107.5FM | Brisbane 107.7FM | Darwin 103.3FM | Adelaide 105.5FM | Hobart 92.9FM | Perth 99.3FM | Canberra 101.5FM
For other towns and regional centres, click here.
We now return you to your normal programming schedule...
Andrew.
So I saw Andrew today. A little background on the story here: a long time ago, we used to be friends and I haven't thought about him lately at all -- well, I have, recently. We had a falling out around the first half of last year - there were events that our friendship obviously couldn't survive. I'd say that quite a lot of it was my fault and I felt terrible about it at the time. I eventually got over it but recently I've been thinking about it again. And frankly, I missed him a little.
So a week or two ago, I got in touch with him and today we met up. He'd changed a lot and I'd say he's all the better for it. I haven't, though. I know it and he noticed it too. Anyway, we had coffee and a slice of the richest, sweetest choc fudge cake at a café on Oxford Street. I'm not lying about the cake by the way, I wouldn't have minded if I died after eating that. I don't think I would've minded having some of the waiters, either.
We talked and wandered around the city. It was good seeing him, after all this time. I hugged him just before he got on his train but he said to me that it didn't mean that I'd been forgiven; I didn't mind - it's a lot to ask for. In time though, I hope he does forgive me. And I hope we can be mates again.
Listening to:
Title: Breathe In Now
Artist: George
Album/station: Polyserena
Length: 3.50
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Nikki is well and her bump is healthy. She was positively glowing. I can't wait 'till the sprog pops out. They've decided he'll be called Dylan Thomas. All that talk about babies, I'd have to admit, has made me a little clucky. I've decided that I'm having Darren's babies.
I still feel a little odd when I see my friends doing grown-up things though. We've all grown up together from naive little school children and to suddenly see one of them driving a car or even with child is just a bit of a shock. It's a situation that one once thought was the domain of people bigger and older than us, the adults. But suddenly we're adults, too - although, whoever decided that we're ready for the privilege and responsibility that comes with adulthood should have their marbles counted and carefully reinserted.
Anyway, the good thing about the Central Coast is that there aren't any shortages of hot, scantily clad boys up there. And several of them are gay/bi/very curious.
Take the train trip back to Sydney for example. There was this blonde boy that got on the train with Lauren and I at Gosford. Being the busybodies that we are, Lauren and I decided that, as chummy as they were, the girl with him must've been just a friend and that he had to be a fellow parishoner at the Church of the Cock. He was just a little too pretty to be straight. And a teensy bit camp, too.
Of course, this was all fed by a delusion I have that makes me think that every drop dead gorgeous boy is gay - I mean why else would they be all cute and pretty? To attract girls? Ha, the wonders will never cease. It's just a sad case of wishful thinking on my part, I imagine.
Also there was this rather crumpety spiky haired American in a slim fit surf-branded T-shirt that got on the train at Point Clare. At that point Lauren told me to stop perving on other boys - I am taken after all. After I joked about the stereotypical gay male promiscuity, she said something along the lines of: "just because you both have pee-pees doesn't make it okay". Okay, so it was hilarious at the time, I guess you had to be there.
Oh and Lauren gave me this, a Cowwy Bank. I've named her Mack the Moo Cow.

Listening to:
Title: Slow Hands
Artist: Interpol
Album/station: Antics
Length: 3.04
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Listening to:
Title: Flagpole Sitta
Artist: Harvey Danger
Album/station: Where Have All The Merrymakers Gone
Length: 3.33
Friday, January 14, 2005
10 Signs You're In Too Deep
1. You no longer remember anyone's phone number because they're all programmed into your mobile phone
2. You instant-message people at work who are seated within a few metres of you
3. You make itineraries for your holidays
4. The idea of a full week without internet access fills you with terror
5. You are bored at home if the TV isn't on
6. You absolutely must watch the news every day to be sure the world isn't ending
7. You regularly watch sitcom reruns that you have seen countless times before
8. You are unable to sit still and think in silence
9. Your conversation regularly revolves around the lives of others instead of your own
10. You buy shoes because they match your iPod.
I'm guilty of 1, 3, 5, 6, 7 and 9. Shameful.
I think I need to chill out a bit, get away from it all. Maybe just from life in general, i.e. the lifestyle (not that I really have anything else to get away from, especially in the employment department). Like several others, I guess I have somesort of a yearning to feel some nice green grass between my toes, breathe some fresh air (actually make that fresh salty air for me) and vegetate for a while. Clear the lungs, clear the mind. Drop my mobile in the long waving grass. Isolate myself. Build something. A week should do it.
In other news...
- Bought the train tickets to Melbourne today.
- Seeing Darren tonight. OooOoh!
- Tomorrow, I'm going up to Gosford to see Nikki, her wigglywoo/tummy and her boyfriend. I haven't seen her in yonks and gosh I miss her. Not long until the baby comes, either.
Listening to:
Title: I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks
Artist: The Bloodhound Gang
Album/station: One Fierce Beer Coaster
Length: 3.48
Thursday, January 13, 2005
The signs all point to it. I've been really hungry and I've been eating heaps over the last few days. And I've been all hormonal. I'm not getting fat yet though, but it's only early days yet.
I don't think I'm ready for Little Mikeys scampering around the place. Or Little Darrens for that matter- well, I think they're Darren's...
Seriously though, I've been feeling weird lately. I've been eating more than I usually do - I've actually been hungrier than I normally am. Maybe another growth spurt is in the works. I'd like to hope so, I've been praying (in a very secular way, of course) that it isn't too late for me. I could do with a bit more length...
...I mean height!
Listening to:
Title: Vacation
Artist: Bagster
Album/station: Onwards and Upwards
Length: 3.39
So I'm flicking through my Uncle's Wheels magazine and gosh they whinge a lot. If it isn't speed limits, petrol prices or insurance premiums, it'll be the government conspiracy making life tough for Mr Car Enthusiast.
What is really ridiculous is the cry that the Government is using traffic fines, namely speeding fines via automated speed cameras, solely as a source of revenue. I mean come on, that to me just sounds like a weak excuse; a bad case of blame-shifting. If one doesn't break the law, i.e. sticks to the speed limit, then one need not be worried about being fined - it's as easy as that. It just so happens that the flagrant disregard of speed limits by a loud minority helps to fund the schools, hospitals and, god forbid, driver education and road safety programs in our state.
You'd think that a whopping big fine would be some sort of viable deterrent; after all, no one wants to pay big money out of their own pockets. But apparently, some motorists don't even respond to that. Does that point to some sort of mental deficiency? I'm not sure.
And then there's the demonising of petrol taxes. Short of endorsing fuel excise, I just think with all that the damage that cars do - to the environment, to the road surface, to health - the tax is somewhat justified. According to the budget papers for 2003-4, petroleum taxes (from fuel, lubricants, bitumen, et cetera) was worth $13.5 billion, or 7% of total Government revenue which could and should be ploughed back into health, the environment and transport. I mean with tax cuts the Government has made and the loss of half (and potentialy all) of Telstra dividends to investors, Howard is going to need all the money he can get.
Personally, I think petroleum products would be more usefully utilised in the production of polymers and plastics, rather than being wastefully burnt as fuel. I think we have more to worry about than not being able to drive cars once crude oil supplies run out or run low, if indeed they do. Computers being the future of humanity and all, I don't think PCs made out of pine will become big in 40-70 years time.
Listening to:
Title: Salvation
Artist: The Cranberries
Album/station: Stars: The Best Of 1992-2002
Length: 2.24
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
If it does turn out to be his washing detergent (which although I doubt very much would nonetheless be really cool), it's got to be some special stuff - maybe some sort of Designer-Omo or something. Possibly a Hugo Boss/Cold Power hybrid. Hmm, smells expensive.
Now that's a marketing idea.
Anyway, so I'm watching the documentary The Corporation (screening on SBS TV in three parts; part two screened tonight). It's an eye opener if nothing else. I feel a little dirty, knowing that I'm a victim of consumerism and that I knowingly contribute to this frightening hold that faceless corporations have on the world. What's even worse is the knowledge that I'm probably not going to change my ways.
For one, it's ridiculous that a corporation can be recognised as if it were a person. Even more ridiculous that a corporation can own the rights to a living organism; or even the genes that make up you, me and every other living creature on Earth. And that's all only one small issue...
Meanwhile, something I have to mention because of the stupidity of it all: singing the Mamas and the Papas' hit California Dreaming. Off key, mind you, and singing the backing vocals simultaneously - which is quite an effort. Of course the logical thing to do when singing with another person (which in this case was my aunt) is for one person to take one part and the other person to take the other. But no, that's too obvious.
And the way that this song is structured means that you often won't finish a line of the lyrics just so you can start the next line of the backing vocals in time. Thus: "All the leaves are bro-- (All the leaves are brown) / And the sky is gre-- (And the sky is gre-ey) / I've been for a-- (I've been for a wa-alk) / On a winter's da-- (On a winter's da-ay)..." et cetera.
It all sounded quite shit.
Listening to:
Title: Lonely Day
Artist: Phantom Planet
Album/station: Smallville OST
Length: 3.44
You Can't Stop The Murders was on Foxtel/Showtime when I got home. I loved every minute of it. And best of all, it features my favourite comedian of all time, Akmal Saleh. I cacked myself, thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm a bit too buggered to write my own little synopsis for it, so here's a bootlegged one from IMDb:
"Police in the tiny Australian town of Sleepy West are baffled by a series of murders in which a biker, a construction worker, a sailor, a cowboy and an Indian are killed. To their horror, they realise that someone is killing people with the same occupations as the Village People, and there is one occupation left - the cop! With the help of a reluctant detective from out of town, the police race to find the killer before one of them turns up dead."Oh, remember it's a comedy. The search for the DVD begins.
On other recent happenings, I've re-made contact Andrew - someone I'd had a falling-out with early last year. I'm hoping that we can be mates again. I've just felt terrible about how it all ended up.
Listening to:
Title: Nightminds (Dave Higgins Remix)
Artist: Missy Higgins
Album/station: Ministry of Sound: Chillout Sessions 6
Length: 4.33
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Listening to:
Title: Don't Dream It's Over (Live)
Artist: Crowded House
Album/station: Recurring Dream: The Very Best of Crowded House (Bonus Live Disc)
Length: 4.03
Monday, January 10, 2005
Whinging Commuters
If you didn't already know, I hate commuters that do nothing but complain. Which at the moment is 90% of the Sydney commuting public. This letter from today's Herald:
Riding in one of Sydney's new Millennium trains the other day I could have believed I was in a modern, wealthy and sophisticated city, but was brought back to earth later in one of the usual antiquated carriages, full of commuters with feet on seats, bellowing into cell phones, littering their space with food scraps and plastic bottles, and crowding doorways like bewildered sheep.
Sydney's commuters, I decided, have the train service they deserve. Until they change their habits they certainly do not deserve trains that run on time, let alone the air-conditioned comfort, spacious layout, pleasing decor and silent running of the Millennium trains.
A.W. Wyndham, Exeter, January 9.
Letters. Sydney Morning Herald, January 10 2005
Marry me, A.W. Wyndham of Exeter. Mind you, it's not only poor hygiene, it's the attitude that needs to change, too. Flogging a sick donkey won't help it to get better.
Private School Fees
So parents thought that under a federal Labor government, fees would sky rocket but Howard would keep private school fees down with his policy of increasingly extravagant public funding of rich private schools.
Suck on that. So private schools become increasingly richer as they suck more money from the taxpayer and the parents of their pupils while the public system languishes in disrepair. It seems hardly equitable at all.A year's education at Sydney's wealthiest private schools will cost more than $18,000 this year with average fee rises at NSW schools more than triple the inflation rate.
A Herald survey of 48 private secondary schools reveals fee rises of up to 20 per cent and an average increase of 8.3 per cent. Not one school surveyed will cut fees and the big increases involve the most expensive independent schools and Catholic institutions run by religious orders.
Price of going private hits $18,000 a year as fees soar, Linda Doherty. Sydney Morning Herald, January 10 2005.
Trendy wannabes
Oh it pisses me off too:-
When he came to power in Cuba as Castro's right-hand man, Che advocated the extermination of ideological enemies, ordered the incarceration and torture of many people and actively promoted terrorism.Would you wear a T-shirt with Howard on the front? Didn't think so.Thankfully, he was killed in Bolivia before he had a chance to add to his contribution to mass murder. Yet I see people in Sydney streets wearing his image on T-shirts or posters of him on shop walls as if he were the epitome of chic. The equivalent would be to enjoy a film about the pre-political youthful shenanigans of Nazis such as Goebbels or Goering.
The moral blind spot that has allowed killers to become kitsch, Louise Nowra. Sydney Morning Herald, January 10 2005.
(Not that I'm making a comparison between Che and John. At this point, I suppose I'd rather have John as the leader of my nation as opposed to Mr Guevara - and and woe betide anyone who dares take any part of that sentence out of context.)
Listening to:
Title: Kill Eye (Live)
Artist: Crowded House
Album/station: Recurring Dream: The Very Best of Crowded House (Bonus Live Disc)
Length: 3.19
Listening to:
Title: Hole In The River (Live)
Artist: Crowded House
Album/station: Recurring Dream: The Very Best Of Crowded House (Bonus Live Disc)
Length: 8.54
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Amongst the pile now sitting on my bed - in need of major sort-age - are my RTA Learner Driver Logbook (complete with 30 mins of drive-time logged! Pretty pisspoor considering that I got my L's in December 2002), a Red Cross Blood Service Youth Donor certificate thanking me for participating (even though I didn't donate any blood - I turned up and all, but they wouldn't let me due to regulations regarding donor male-to-male sex) and a First Aid Certificate which needs to be renewed in July. And I think I see Navy and Air Force information booklets from way back when I was considering joining up.
(Aside: I understand why the Red Cross Blood Service would have rules regarding who can donate blood, even if they are a little silly. I mean, what makes male-receptive anal sex different to female-receptive anal sex? A topic for another blog I suppose. Anyway, I would love to donate blood but it's either that or go celibate for twelve months.)
Most of it, though, is school stuff: reports, the School and Higher School Certificates, and letters from the Board of Studies and UAC. Even a Meningicoccal C school vaccination card.
While my mates in the year 12 class of 2004 are currently waiting for their university course offers, I'm looking over my course preferences on a UAC letter dated November 9, 2003. I just think how things could have been so different if my UAI (University Admissions Index - a ranking for those hopeful of getting a University place) was just a few points lower. In order of preference:
- Bachelor of Education (Secondary: Science)/Bachelor of Science at University of Sydney
- Bachelor of Teaching/Bachelor of Science at University of Newcastle
- Bachelor of Science/Bachelor of Education at University of New South Wales
- Bachelor of Science/Bachelor of Education Secondary at University of Canberra
- Bachelor of Teaching (Secondary)/Bachelor of Science at Charles Sturt University, Wagga Wagga
- Bachelor of Science/Bachelor of Teaching at University of New England
- Bachelor of Science/Bachelor of Science Education at La Trobe University
- Bachelor of Science at University of New England
- Bachelor of Science at La Trobe University
I don't know or can't remember why I ended up putting USyd at the top of the list. Things would have been majorly different if I hadn't. And in March I start my second year there. Here's to living it up, a better work ethic and better results this year, eh?
Talk of blood donation has got me thinking. Why not have a blogger blood drive? I mean, we have the Melbourne Bloggers trying to outdo us Sydney Bloggers with the Melbourne GrogBlogging. There's a major blood product shortage in Australia at the moment, and a little more inter-city rivalry couldn't go astray, could it?
Listening to:
Title: Look What Happened
Artist: Less Than Jake
Album/station: Borders & Boundaries
Length: 3.41
Just reading that last paragraph back, it looks like a dodgy, third-rate review. All that's missing is a star rating. Which I'm not going to bother with - it's all too subjective anyway.
Also, I'm quite impressed that Matt would drive all the way out to Mum's house to pick me up, drive all the way to Hornsby for the movie, then all the way back to Mum's to drop me off and then all the way back home. I feel bad, I think I should give him some petrol money or something. Just goes to show how great a buddy he is, I suppose.
I still maintain that Matt's shoulder is the best one to hide behind when cowering from the bad and/or scary movie bits. And his increasingly gym-toned biceps don't hurt things either.
Listening to:
Title: I Wouldn't Change A Thing
Artist: Kylie Minogue
Album/station: Rage - ABC TV
Length: ...
Saturday, January 08, 2005
But he did get to hear a bucket load of embarrasing stories about me, thanks to Lauren and Steph. Thank you girls, you made my day!
Anyway, he wouldn't let me go home alone in the state I was in so he took me back to his place. And you know what? He didn't even take advantage of vulnerable, defenceless, inebriated me. No seriously, he just let me sleep. What a basta-- erm I mean, gentleman.
But nah seriously, it was all good. He was a sweetie as always. He dressed me this morning. Might just hang onto this one.
Listening to:
Title: Perfect World (Steve Mac Remix)
Artist: City Slickers
Album/station: Ministry of Sound: The 2005 Annual
Length: 3.22
Friday, January 07, 2005
Listening to:
Title: Kiss Kiss
Artist: Bodyjar
Album/station: Triple M Musical Challenge 3
Length: 2.32
Just quietly, I note that the evil ones (a.k.a FoxNews) make no mention of this. The closest they get to it is this: "U.S. Will 'Probably' Increase Aid Later". Hmm, how curious.
In other news, Guy Sebastian, Australian Idol 2003, sang at the 2005 Deaflympics in Melbourne. Apparently while he sang his signature tunes All I Need Is You and Angels Brought Me Here, the choir held up signs with the lyrics plastered on them.
A comment of the Sydney Morning Herald's Radar:
Re: Guy goes off
while they dont have to listen to him they do have to look at him. Good thing they've got signs up for distraction.
poor buggers
Posted by: katie at January 7, 2005 10:26 AM
Listening to:
Title: Give It Away
Artist: Deepest Blue
Album/station: Ministry of Sound: Chillout Sessions 5
Length: 3.28
Thursday, January 06, 2005
My thoughts? To be frank, I don't want to share him ...
Only joking. But seriously, if he decided to shack up with one of them (and it would only be one, being the gentleman that he is), I suppose I would get a little jealous. Just a little.
Listening to:
Title: Scott's a Dork
Artist: Reel Big Fish
Album/station: Why Do They Rock So Hard?
Length: 3.04
I mean, not only does this particular uncle sneak into my room and surf for porn on my computer, he has to bust my camera, which will take time and lots of money to fix, if it's worth fixing at all. Not that the monetary value of this camera matters as much as the sentimental, of course.
Anyway, I shall visit the camera shop tomorrow and see what they can do about it. I'd prefer to get it fixed than dump it and get a new one. I've seen some of the new ones on the market and they just don't seem as robust as the MG. And I don't want all these fancy electronics; I just want a simple all-manual SLR. Anyway, the MG means so much more to me.
Listening to:
Title: Rape Me
Artist: Nirvana
Album/station: In Utero
Length: 2.51
Wednesday, January 05, 2005

It was Mum's, but I have it now. It's older than me. There was a bit of film left - a whole roll of 35mm Illford XP b&w - and I shot that off. There's nothing like that reassuring clunk after you press the shutter release button. And I missed having control over all the shutter speed and aperture settings.
Ever since I'd acquired the digital camera - the Pentax 33LF - or maybe even long before that, I'd neglected my poor MG. It's such a robust little thing. Mum bought it in 1981 and here it is, twenty four years later. And I've thrashed it about for at least the last four or five.
I've been re-inspired by the likes of 334pixels, Shutterfly and PhotoSydney. It's time to put all that stuff I'd learnt in high school photography class into practice again. MG's going to see a lot more use from now on.
Listening to:
Title: Creep
Artist: Radiohead
Album/station: Drill
Length: 3.58
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Boy #1
There's a nice crumpet at the McDonald's in Centrepoint - I like refer to him as McSpunk. First off, there was a hot surfy boy in the queue in front of me that I couldn't help but look at (I think I caught McSpunk looking too, just quietly). Anyway, that guy left and I ordered. McSpunk sort of bantered with this other Macca's chick out front and I very much picked up a gay vibe. Maybe a bit of flirting with me too - a tiny tiny bit, but maybe that's just generic-retail-niceness. I guess the fact that I was wearing my Quiksilver back pack complete with prominent gay rainbow patch sewn on didn't hurt things.
There was a two-minute wait on my quarter pounder with cheese so McSpunk stood there behind the counter and I stood in front, quietly waiting... waiting... It was a golden opportunity to attempt a pick-up. And I could've done it too, there was no one else for him to serve so it wasn't like he was busy. But I killed it. Did nothing and then left after the quarter came. Not that I should complain, being currently involved and all.
Boy #2
Back when I skated (on a skateboard) -- well, at least tried to -- I subscribed to Skate - Australian Skateboarding Magazine. My subscription has long since ended and today I was in the newsagent and picked up a copy, just to flick through and have a look at what the young groms are up to. (Gosh i make it sound like it was aeons ago -- it was only last year!)
On the cover, they declared that inside was the most offensive interview ever. Of course, curiosity had killed the cat long ago and I went straight to the said interview. This is what I found before I soaked it in drool:

Matty Johnston - a hot 19 year old skater from Sydney with the Australian Emerica Skate Team. Oh and did I mention he was gay? At least I think he is. One of his personalities at least. But that doesn't matter - he's hot. Now I'd love to have this boy's babies!
Although it seems the interview was done while he was heavily inebriated (potentially throwing into doubt it's validity), he did say: "I'd probably better to go dudes than slags with monsterism". And this, when asked why a boy as attractive as he is hasn't got much luck with girls: "I dont know. I don't care about random slags, I'm down for the [gay boys]...".
And one of his mates, straight I assume, jokes with him about getting with each other: "...we won't just do a mutual mazz, we'll slam so hard that one of us actually gets pregnant". Ha! Never heard it put quite like that before.
I liked this part, though:-
Features: Can you tell us a bit about the black eye you're rockin' right now? How and why did it happen?Let's bask in more of his cuteness.
Matty Johnston: Because I grabbed some dudes ass on the dance floor last night. His friend beat me up, they weren't [gay].


You know, maybe I might take up skating again.
Listening to:
Title: I've Got You Under My Skin
Artist: Diana Krall
Album/station: When I Look In Your Eyes
Length: 6.10
Monday, January 03, 2005
So this situation with Mum looks like coming to a head and it's been weighing on my mind for the last week or two. She's aware that I'm presently involved with a boy (i.e. Darren) and has for some time now. I've felt something simmering on the back burner for about that same time. This is the first boy-boy relationship of mine that she's ever known anything about and I'm not sure how she'll react. I'm guessing that it'd be the same as with the coming-out: displeasure, disappointment, possibly with a twist of disgust (I'm getting over the disgust part - it still hurts but I think I can look beyond it. And I hope that she can too).
I suppose the situation could have been better if I'd been more open. I mean, just with the small things, like letting the family know that I'd be home a little late or if I'd be staying over at someone's house instead of being cagey about everything. I wouldn't be surprised if Mum is a little distrusting of it all.
I want her to know that it's all good, you know? I want her to know that this involvement is, for want of a better term, [somewhat] innocent and wholesome. I want her to know that she can trust me.
The weekend past
I saw Raise Your Voice on Saturday with spunky Darren and stayed over at his place again. It wasn't all that good - the movie that is. The only redeeming feature was Oliver James, really. Staying over was good though, despite being rudely awoken at about 4am. It wasn't as bad as It could've been - it was only one of Darren's room mates coming home (possibly with girl in tow) and playing good music at full volume. I think I even caught myself quietly singing along.
Also, last night I saw The Incredibles with Mattymoo. Quite the gentleman, he is. Sometimes I reckon that it's a shame that he's just a mate instead of something else. Only sometimes, mind you. Anyway, he's special guy and I'm glad he's one of my bestest buds.
Listening to:
Title: Blacken My Thumb
Artist: The Datsuns
Album/station: Outta Sight/Outta Mind
Length: 2.46
Saturday, January 01, 2005
A product of progressive media policies of the [great] Whitlam Government, the national youth radio station Triple J in my view is quite possibly the best radio station in Australia if not the world. It's the subject of much derision amongst my friends but I really couldn't care less.
Triple J has been a force in comedy, music, politics and current affairs in this country, which is much more than I can say for many of the FM commercial stations. And the irony is that several of the acts that my friends enjoy were given their berth in Australia by the Jay's, when the commercial stations that they listen to weren't game enough to play anything new. And that continues today, with JJJ taking the risks with new artists and the commercial stations picking them up after they've proved their worth.
Anyway, back to the Hottest 100. Some of my picks:
- coin-operated boy - the dresden dolls
- forget her - jeff buckley
- godhopping - dogs die in hot cars
- going nowhere - cut copy
- hold me now - polyphonic spree
- i love you cause i have to - dogs die in hot cars
- mirror mirror - after the fall
- older than you - eskimo joe
- over when i met you - the camels
- saturdays - cut copy
- sukkafish - the grates
- this old love - lior
- tonights the night - little birdy
- what became of the likely lads - the libertines
- yo mama - butterfingers
Listening to:
Title: Kissing the Lipless
Artist: The Shins
Album/station: Chutes Too Narrow
Length: 3.20
mikey
Cover him with kisses, baby. Cover him with love. Wrap him in designer sheets, he'll never get enough. More...blogroll
- digeratemil
- emotivating
- gayety
- idMedia
- juliadactyl
- lyradis
- nosemugger
- ron_
- spaced in
- sydney spy
- torfeida
- volacious gus
sydney university
- 2characters
- the adventures of queer penguin
- ausculture
- the battler's prince
- benjamin solah
- ben's blab
- consideropsium
- culture strain
- darp hau
- dawei's house
- dreadnought
- ellipsis
- fop
- freeway 9
- a fulmination of thought
- hecho en mexico
- inhibitory links
- interpret this!
- living breathing dancing
- mark
- monologging
- occasional screaming queen
- out of control
- people who need to be glassed
- photo sydney
- scott, to be certain
- semaphore junction
- sparcoz
- spending like it's 1988
- the spin starts here
- suburban camouflage
- the swanker
- symposiasts
- tastes like drunk
- teh url
- urban creature
- victim of narcissim
- zwischenzugs
- more...
australia
archives
support

This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons License.
