Listening to:
Title: Honey and the Moon
Artist: Joseph Arthur
Album/station: Redemption's Son
Length: 4.44

Being the second last night of 2004, I thought I'd do the unoriginal thing and take stock over what has been an... interesting year. Well in the Mikey context, at least.

So (escaping from the unfolding tragedy of recent days) lets take a self-focused look at the year that was. Note: this will be far from being in any coherent chronological order.


Two-thousand and four was the year of Mikey the University Student. So I started my first year of a combined Education/Science degree and it didn't turn out too badly. I was introduced to the life that is sleeping during lectures, the in-between-classes drinks at Manning Bar, cheap food (you really do get what you pay for, however) and the cute boys.

Of course, there were the long and equally terrible physics and chemistry lab sessions, unintelligible lecturers, tough assignments and exams that one would stay up all night finishing or studying for, fees, student politics, trains that fail to materialise and the dog poop that seemed to always be on Lawson Street in Redfern. Not to mention the stairs in Carslaw. Well, stairs in general all over campus. There are too many. I've come to despise them.

Fisher Library was also an experience. The place always intimidates me. I think it's the 'Be Quiet' signs that do it. I'm too scared to make a noise, a la George Costanza and the swishing business suit. It's as if a killer librarian will swing down from the book stacks, laugh an evil piratey laugh, and then stab me with a cutlass. And that's I don't get lost first. Then the other type of librarian, the Minotaur kind, might've gotten me in amongst the labyrinth that is Level 8 of Fisher Stack.

But it's all good. I like it, the uni lifestyle and all. Four years left.

Coupled with Mikey the Uni Student came Mikey the Potential Educator. I went back and spoke at the graduation of the Class of 2004 at my alma mater and that brought all home. I wasn't at school as a pupil anymore. And I'd be back, eventually as the other one, not as a student learning but as a teacher teaching. It was re-assuring that my own teachers had been through what I'm currently going through - academically at least. One teacher said to me, "they still teach Piaget ?!". [Piaget: educational psychologist]


Two-thousand and four was also the year of Mikey the Gay. I stopped trying with the whole girl thing and faced up to the fact that females, as lovely as they are, just don't get my motor running. Up until then, I'd labelled myself bisexual. At least then, there was the option of having that heterosexual life that I'd dreamt up for myself in my formative years. You know, wife and kids with a suburban family home.

But that isn't to be. I more or less exclusively worship the cock. It was tough enough coming to terms with that. There wouldn't be any carrying-on-the-family-line business. Not in the conventional sense, anyway. I knew my that my Mum, deep down inside, was looking forward to grandchildren. And that wouldn't be happening either. Which leads me to that other thing. I came out of the closet to my Mum, who isn't at all pleased and I'd say she's having a mite more trouble coming to terms with it. A part of me wishes I hadn't told her but I suppose that we're all better off if she knows.

Of the more positive coming-out experiences was when the first member of my extended family found out - my cousin Mark. It helped a lot. My thanks goes out to him.

Also pertaining to the theme of the year of gay, some 'honourable mentions': Tony, Doug, Tony (again), Mattymoo and James.


This year was also the year of Mikey the Drunk. Turning eighteen had everything to do with this. I found out that my liver is about the size of a ten cent coin. Yeah, I'm a cheap drunk. What are you going to do about it? Buy me a drink? You'd better.


Regrets? I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention. Ah, good Ol' Blue Eyes. Couldn't have said it better myself.


Listening to:
Title: Can You Be True
Artist: Elvis Costello
Album/station: North
Length: 3.45

I'm now a Mozilla Firefox user.


Darren gets back from Brisbane later today.


Went down to Chicken Run at the station shops in Quakers Hill for lunch. I love their chicken. I love their chips. Easily the best in the Sydney Basin. Two-piece chicken and chips for $4.95. Beautiful.



Isn't it interesting to see the U.S. Federal Government hand out a few billion dollars to Florida in the wake of a hurricane but only give a few tens of millions of dollars in aid to tsunami stricken nations.

And then this:

Australia's generosity has been noted by the US media, with many news stations making the point that Australia's initial donation of $10million was half as much as that of the US.

US rejects stingy tag, and praises Australia, Caroline Overington. Sydney Morning Herald, December 30 2004.

Typical, isn't it. Sounds like FoxNews drivel to me. Actually it was; I stumbled across it while flicking channels. The contribution may have been half as much, but as a proportion of GDP, it's significantly higher. The US can afford to give more, yet it doesn't.

Foreign aid in general, while being woefully inadequate, is managed poorly - particularly here in Australia. You'd think that with our level of aid (currently around 0.28% of GDP, as opposed to the world standard of 0.7%), we'd make the most out of what we contribute; get more bang for our buck. Apparently that's not the case. Corporations get involved and siphon off some of that money. And it's all legal. Ridiculous.

+link: aid watch campaigns


Listening to:
Title: Drown
Artist: The Smashing Pumpkins
Album/station: Rotten Apples (2001)
Length: 4.30

Christmas didn't turn out too badly.

However, it could've been better. Mum told me that I disgust her. Then Dad seemed a bit distant, sort of aloof towards me. And then at the post-christmas sales, there was nothing in my size. They always run out of Smalls. That's the problem even when the sales aren't on.

But yeah, I feel terrible. Hurt. Okay, so maybe it wasn't such a good Christmas after all.


Firstly about Dad. I think I've pushed him too far away. All those times I've spoken badly about him were probably way out of line. Before, nothing could stand in his way if wanted to hug me. Nothing could keep him from talking to me either. He just seemed enthusiatic when it came to me, even when I myself didn't share it. I was his son and he was proud. But recently it's all been different. When he came over last Friday, he didn't talk to me much. He didn't seem to try. Neither at any of the parties with the extended family. Not even in the car.

Mind you, he doesn't know I'm gay yet - not to my knowledge at least - so it could be worse.


Now to Mum. So we're in the car and I was telling her about how I don't like my new mouthwash or whatever and she says something about having fresh breath for my boyfriend. She asks, "Where did we go wrong?" - rhetorically, I guess. And then she said it: "You disgust me".

I could've burst into tears right there, but I didn't. But I did when I got home. It cut pretty deeply.

I know she still loves me. I think she does. Just in the way she does things, you know? For me and all that. She still seems to care for me the way she always used to. And I still love her. I want her to still love me. I understand how I might not have turned out the way she wanted me to. I mean, I haven't turned out the way I wanted to either.

They say that you shouldn't be sorry for who you are, and I'm not. But I am sorry that I've disgusted my mother. I feel like I've hurt her. She looks hurt. Sometimes she sounds hurt. I would do almost anything to take that pain away. But I don't know what to do.

I feel so disconnected. I haven't been a good son.


Listening to:
Title: In The Aeroplane Over the Sea
Artist: Neutral Milk Hotel
Album/station: n/a
Length: 3.22

Development progress report for in another life, i was a platypus v2.0.

1. New template - complete/ongoing.
2. New profile - work in progress.
3. New guestbook - complete.
4. New stat counter - complete.
5. New comments manager - complete.
6. DeviantArt - incomplete.
7. Refurbishment of gallery - work in progress.
8. Own file management restructure on ISP server - complete.

The development of in another life, i was a platypus v2.0 brings together all web locations bearing the munchymunchymoocow and affiliated brands into one dynamic and cohesive network. The objective of this project is to better integrate and manage the Mikey presence over different locations on the internet, while allowing better egress for consumers between product site locations.

In essence, the project consists of improved utilisation of resources available, better inter-locational linkage and a both functional and aesthetic recontruction of those locations....

Gah! I can't do that corporation/weasel-speak anymore. Anyway, at this stage I won't be leaving Modblog for good. This will be the new primary blog but I'll maintain in another life, i was a platypus v1.0 and use it to host the gallery (which has been increased to a whopping 20GB with a view to making it unlimited!) as well as possibly posting in parallel to v2.0.

I've got to do something with DeviantArt - it's languishing unused!

I got a new stat counter and guestbook from Bravenet. When I was applying for them I got the impression that it was run by a few hand-on-heart and flag-waving patriots. I thought twice about joining after that, but I did anyway. It was killing two birds with one stone.

How postmodern: I'm blogging about blogging.

Listening to:
Title: Summer Heat
Artist: The Crustaceans
Album/station: Boys Need to Hunt
Length: 2.55

By the way, I'm coming back to Blogger. Eventually.

I'm sorry I left.



Listening to:
Title: Where is my mind?
Artist: The Pixies
Album/station: Death to The Pixies 1987 - 1991
Length: 3.51

Yay! I'm teaching myself HTML!