Mikey goes to war and shoots things.

Three words kids. Paint. Ball. Skirmish. Today, I went up with a couple of mates to the Paint Ball Place up on the Central Coast. We indulged ourselves in some primal urges and hunted things-- erm-- well, other people. We went up because one of the girls in Adam's pipeband was raising money for the Fred Hollows Foundation and organised this little trip for us all.

I've never had so much fun in my life. I was actually pretty shocked about how much I enjoyed it. I mean, a simulated battle with guns and shooting probably isn't quite a wholesome family-style activity. War is bad, right?

But gosh, it got the adrenalin pumping. I felt so manly holding that gun, that CO₂ powered semi-auto, and popping up from behind obstacles and putting a few rounds into someone. Singular bangs rang out over the valley aswell as staccato rat-atat-atats. Rounds went whistling overhead and whirred through the long grass. Along with everyone else, I was jumping from behind tree to tree, rocks and logs, commando rolling and diving through the scrub. Grunt. And when you get in close, combat reduces to an all out mêlée. Paintballs come in from all directions, and when you get hit, you really get hit.

Real war, of course, isn't so fun. After all, you can't just wipe off a 'wound' and get started again. Nor is there a guarantee that you'll go home at the end of the day, where a long hot shower is waiting to soothe one's aching muscles. Despite that, I still wanted to join the Army Reserve not too long ago.

And those paintballs hurt like a bitch. I'm covered in little round bruises and welts. But that's of no matter, pain was my friend today. I mostly got hit in the face, which didn't really hurt due to the face mask. It's more disconcerting than anything else - the balls just go splat all over the goggles and you can't see anything. I copped a few on my arms, my chest and my back too. It's ridiculous. Even when you've been hit and are heading off the field, they still shoot. Bah!

Most of the games were capture-the-flag type things, but the best one was the hide-and-seek. It was in the back battlefield, in the forested part of the property. One team was to hide throughout the field, usually in protected foxholes or behind logs, and the other team had to sweep through and find them.

My team - the Blue team, denoted by the blue visors on our Darth Vaderesque safety masks - didn't really do too well for most of the day. Except that one capture-the-flag game where I triumphantly got my hands on the flag and ran it to the end zone, we either lost or drew with Orange. They just worked together better. Ah well. Besides, primary colours beat secondary ones where it counts anyway.

One of the highlights was seeing the hot orange boys take off their tops and drive away topless. Not surprisingly, the place was also packed with trigger happy fools who fired their guns at targets and trees when they weren't shooting others. Anyway, I can't wait to do it all again.


Listening to:
Title: Spill The Light
Artist: Betchadupa
Album/station: The 3D E.P. (2001)
Length: 3.34