Back in hell, but some vague recollections, too.

So I've returned to Dad's house. I don't know why I did. I absolutely hate it here. The company sucks. The place is a hole. Ah well. I should really just quit my whining and leave. Either that or just put up and shut up.

But I'm going to escape reality for a few minutes. Be a little happier and focus on things that give me some semblance of joy. Some music is in order.

Panic - The Smiths. Adam introduced me to this band. The song he sold me on was How Soon Is Now?, which was the song played in the opening credits of that horrid TV serial, Charmed. I thought this song (or part thereof) was appropriate a few of weeks ago, circa July 7th. Except there wasn't much of a panic on the streets London. Which was good.

Last Goodbye - Jeff Buckley. "This is our last goodbye / I hate to see the love between us die / But it's over / Just hear this and then I'll go / You gave me more to live for / More than you'll ever know". It's so tragic that he died so young. And before I even got to see him play live.

Where Is My Mind? - The Pixies. I first heard this song on a Triple J Live At The Wireless, as covered by Placebo. I was in the car with Mum and we were on our way to Woolies to do the weekly grocery shopping. Ahh, way back when. I love the guitar and the creepy "Oooh-oooh" bits.

Creep - Radiohead. A stand out memory linked to this song was when I was staying over at the then boyfriend's place. One of his room mates came home in the early morning and put this song full blast. I started tapping my foot against the wall. And then I started singing. Just quietly, though. Those were good times. Gosh, I'd love to have that boy in my arms again.

By Starlight - The Smashing Pumpkins. Off Mellon Collie and the Inifinite Sadness, a great album. Billy Corgan is a bit of a wanker though. "By starlight I'll kiss you / And promise to be / your one and only".

Boys Don't Cry - The Cure. It just rocks.

Days Go By (acoustic version) - Dirty Vegas. This was a hidden track that came on Dirty Vegas' self-titled album. A no frills acoustic version (only guitar and vocals) appeared at the end of the Ministry of Sound's Chillout Sessions Volume 2 and yeah, that's where I first met Dirty Vegas. Dirty Vegas (the album) to me is associated with everything gay. Well the wholesome part anyway, if that exists. I got it right about when I was coming out, so that might have something to do with it.

Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order. I'd only heard the Frente cover of this song up until a few years ago, which is great too. The song may be from the eighties (and have a very eighties sound), but the best things came out of the eigthies.

Suicide is Painless - Manic Street Preachers. I love M*A*S*H. I cried during Goodbye Farewell and Amen. How could you not?

Bring It All Back - S Club 7. This song was old before I'd woken up to it. Embarrassingly. I'd just turned eighteen and I was at Stonewall. Seven pretty young people in colourful clothes appeared on the TV screen above the bar. And they were so happy that they sang about it. And amazingly, I sang along too. How the fuck did I know the lyrics? Only some omnipotent being would know.

No One Takes Your Freedom - DJ Earworm: Scissor Sisters vs Beatles vs George Michael vs Aretha Franklin. This is a great mash up. It's so gay. Gay, as in excellent!

I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks - The Bloodhound Gang. A couple of mates and I went camping in the last year of school down to Bundanoon. Someone had brought a guitar down with them and we found ourselves singing this song around the campfire. It was classic. We sang several other songs in the course of the week, and we'd always worry the next morning that maybe we'd been a little too drunk and a little too loud. On the very last day we were there, we went to around to all the other tents to apologise just in case. But everyone loved us. Some even said they sang along.

Michael - Franz Ferdinand. I mean, come on. This song is sooo about me.

Local Boy In The Photgraph - The Stereophonics. I want this played at my funeral. "And all the friends lay down the flowers/ Sit on the banks and drink for hours / Talk of the way they saw him last / Local boy in the photograph".


Listening to:
Title: Lilac Wine
Artist: Jeff Buckley
Album/station: Grace (1994)
Length: 4.32