Unfortunate finds.

There wasn't much to do today except to do my washing. Jeb wrote about Buffy DVDs so I thought that I'd go through a few while the washing machine was doing its thing. I searched through the box sets, looking for any episode where Buffy doesn't stake a vampire (ha!) when I came across these two mother-owned specimens:

See, my mum's recently gotten into the whole fitness video thing. One of her recent acquisitions evidently is Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease. I'll admit that I didn't get around to watching any of this, which is just as well. I don't want to imagine my mother performing any of the moves that Ms Booby Electra might be performing on this excuse for a fitness video. Softcore porn, that's what it is!

I did however watch a bit of this. The presence of male dancers, albeit a bit on the fresh meat side (a little too fresh), persuaded me to stick this in the player. Says the blurb:

Learn how to dance like your favourite pop stars! Top choreographer Paulette Minott, who works with top groups Blue, Mis-Teeq and Sugababes, together with her dancers introduces the coolest dance video of the year! This DVD contains 7 routines – each track comprises 2 minutes’ instruction to the chorus, moves then follow the dancers as they perform the whole routine on stage!

Too many exclamation marks, methinks! The playlist includes such pop 'greats' as Justin Timberwho's Rock Your Body, Blue's You Make Me Wanna (spew? Sorry, cheap predictable shot), S Club 7's Don't Stop Movin', Liberty X's Just a Little, Girls Aloud's Sound of the Underground, Atomic Kitten's horrendous cover of Blondie's Tide is High and Britney's Oops I Did It Again - but they obviously didn't get the rights to play the originals. How tragic.

Firstly, I can't imagine my mum even attempting this. So there goes that mental image. Phew.

Secondly, the visored one looks like he's just come out of the Big Book of British Smiles. But to his credit, he can dance. And the rest of him is pretty alright. The other one rates higher, of course. And the girls? Well they didn't register on the radar, for obvious reasons. When I did notice them though, I found them a little irritating anyway. They kinda do look like certain pop idols but they're not them. That's got to feel shitty.

The narrating voice really starts to grate after a while. And the 'tutorial' stage before each 'performance' is really quite silly. All of the dancers are on stage but only one of them is demonstrating the slick moves. So in the back ground, the surplus meat are in strange pseudo-cool poses, standing/lying/crouching still for two minutes while the show pony does his or her thing out front. And it feels as if they give you a lot of time, maybe too much time to try out a move after they demonstrate it. Catering to the uncoordinated in the marketplace? I don't know, maybe jumping to the left and jumping back to the right might need some practice to get down pat.

They'll be so sorry for making this when they get older.


Listening to:
Title: There Is A Light That Never Goes Out
Artist: The Smiths
Album/station: The Very Best of the Smiths (2001)
Length: 4.05