Bunnings hardware.

Mum dragged me down to our local Bunnings Hardwarehouse. Aparently, when one goes to a harware shop, one needs to be or in the presence of a big, strong, manly man. There were none around so she took me instead. Heh.

I followed her around pushing one of those oversized, manly shopping trolleys while she loaded it with various hardware bits and pieces. Bits of PVC piping, planks of wood, tins of paint. But everytime an item found its way into the trolley, I knew I'd be in for another couple of hours of manual labour. "Mikey, change the sparkplugs in the mower". "Mikey, replace that broken roof tile". "Mikey, fix that leaky downpipe".

I think I should be paid for all of that. There are definite Occupational Heath & Safety issues all over the place, too. Is there a trade union for sons who carry out dangerous and labour intensive tasks around their mother's houses? No? Well there should be.

Anyway, so we're in one of the bare-concrete floored aisles at Bunnings and mum has a problem that I obviously can't help with. She needs something or another that doesn't seem to be in stock. And the most gorgeous shop boy I've ever seen just happens to be walking past. Definite boy-next-door material.

So mum calls him over and she asks for the odds and/or ends that she's after and he stops. He does this cute turn on the balls of his feet and well, he was just so nice. He glanced at me, the poor hardware-illiterate fag-boy while he tried to address my mother's little issue and I blushed. I went beet red. He grinned, and I'm not sure if it's because he's just a smiley type of guy or because I looked so absolutely silly.

Of course, he wasn't the only crumpet in the store. The place was crawling with them. At the cash register an equally adorable boy was there scanning stuff through. He was wearing the same get-up that aisle-boy was in - the Bunnings polo top, the Stubbies shorts, the apron, the Blundstone boots. But this one looked decidedly-- well, for want of a better term, faggier. In a straight boy kind of way. Spikey black-dyed hair, piercied eye brow, cleanshaven. He may have even had a limp-wrist. But that all means bugger-all.

So the Bunnings boys have made it onto the shop-perve list, right after SDS boy in Pitt Street and just ahead of McSpunk at Centrepoint.


Listening to:
Title: Today
Artist: The Smashing Pumpkins
Album/station: Rotten Apples (2001)
Length: 3.22