Anxiety, linear mathematics, boyffs, et cetera.

Maybe anxiety is the ill that I've been suffering lately. I can think of several contributing factors: all things uni, boy and family related. I chose an essay question about anxiety for educational psychology and it made sense.

I'm starting to feel all out of my depth with uni. I have a linear maths assignment due in a couple of days and I'm totally clueless. If they assessed me based on attendance, I'd get a HD mark for sure. But if they quizzed me on course content, I doubt I'd pass. I don't know what it is; I turn up to every lecture, practice session and tutorial but leave feeling none the wiser.

In today's lecture, all I heard from the lecturers mouth was gibberish. Sure, he spoke words that individually I understood (as opposed to random sounds, noises or grunts) but there didn't seem to be anything meaningful coalescing in my mind.

On the boy front, well, I guess I'm feeling the need for a little affection. You know, just a little tenderness. I haven't seen The Boyff in a while and the last time that I did see him, hardly any-- erm-- tenderness occurred. The circumstances weren't really inducive to that sort of thing. Not that I'm saying that everytime one sees that special person, tenderness needs to happen, oh no.

Amongst other boy related things, I think there are some underlying issues with the immediate ex-boyff Daz, maybe stemming from the fact that the last time I saw him in person those weeks and months ago I was still kissing and cuddling him. And then from that, it went to nothing. There was definitely some sort of emotional whip lash action there. I've been speaking to him recently and it's as if nothing ever happened. At all. And I don't exactly know how or what I'm meant to feel about it.


Listening to:
Title: I Want Your Girlfriend To Be My Girlfriend Too
Artist: Reel Big Fish
Album/station: Why Do They Rock So Hard? (2002)
Length: 2.53