Oh my God. We had the first HSC English Exam today - Paper 1: Area of Study. One conclusion that I can draw from that - I sucked!!! No, I'm not happy. I'm not off to a good start. I've only got my other exams to go. I've just generally got a bad feeling about English. I hate it with a passion. I can tell the next one is going to be just as bad. It isn't an issue of whether I've studied or not, because i have. It's just that there's not enough time, i think. The questions are too vague. And English is too damn subjective! And this was meant to be the easy one.

Meanwhile, studying Hamlet and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead is getting me down. It's the whole death thing. Now i'm wondering about death - not about committing suicide or anything else psychopathic, no. Just actual death, as in, no life. What's it like? (I know I'm not the first to ask the question)

I'm not a religious person, so I don't really believe in an afterlife. I've always thought that death was a big huge nothing. But the other day when i thought about it more I got scared. Like, going to bed and not waking up. Because once you're dead, that's it, there's no turning back.

I've been told the closest thing to death (without physically harming one's self) is going under general anaesthetic. I've heard it described as nodding off one minute, then waking up again in the blink of an eye. That blink of an eye is usually hours later but to the person it feels like only moments. Death is for eternity but happens in the blink of an eye.

Anyway, my theory on religion, while we're on the subject, is that people are scared of the after life. Some can't handle the thought that when you die, that's it so they've cooked up this after life idea. [My theory, okay? you don't have to agree. And all of this is assuming that religion is false, which i'm not entirely sure of. That's not to say that religion isn't a valid idea].

Which gives me an idea. I should post my armchair theories. Just bear in mind that a lot of them are silly, non-serious kinds of things because I have nothing else better to do. Like my Fashion Conspiracy Theory, for one....